Love Library
by Cashmerella
Summary: Alfred is a university jock who falls head over heels for the school's handsome Russian librarian, who finds his constant flirting and immature attitude irksome. Can love blossom in this zany comedy as Al and friends attempt to woo Ivan? AmeRus with CanPru on the side, rated T for language and sexual implications.
1. What is this Place?

Alfred F. Jones darted his head back and forth, looking around, utterly confused and bewildered by his surroundings. He leaned forward in his chair, whispering to his stepbrother across the table. "PSST. Mattie," he whispered, his voice shaking with alarm. "What is this weird place?"

Matthew frowned. "We're in the library...?"

Alfred continued to cautiously and confusedly examine his surroundings. "Why are there walls of books everywhere? Is this some kind of sick and twisted maze? How did we get here?"

Matt rolled his eyes, sighing in disgust. "Al, there are _supposed_ to be walls of books here. This is where people study."  
>Alfred frowned. "...Really? They have big buildings like this, just for studying?"<br>"Yeah."

Alfred looked around, frowning. "But why do _I_ have to be here? I hate studying."

Matthew glared at him. "Because we have a class together, and we were paired up for an assignment, and I'll be damned if you're gonna make me do all the work. You can flunk out if you want, lazy ass, but don't drag me down with you."

"Huh." Alfred said thoughtfully. "If they make places like this, they should really put one on campus."

"We _are_ on campus, you idiot," Matthew growled.

Alfred blinked, confused. "Huh. Really? I've never seen it. They should probably put it in a more noticeable place."

Matthew sighed deeply. "This library is in the middle of the campus, Alfred. You pass it every day on your way to class."

"What, no way! And I missed it up until now!? Man, that's eerie. Maybe they need, like... awareness seminars, or something. I bet a lot of students could make use of this place if they knew it existed."

Matt closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten in his head. "Al, I think everyone except you already knew."

Al threw his head back and laughed. "Yeah, as if! I bet you only knew about this place because you're a nerd."

"This is why they shouldn't give out sports scholarships to people who contribute nothing else to society!" Matt snapped angrily. "Why does a lazy, unappreciative idiot like you get a free ride while I'm stuck with student loans? You don't even give a crap about school!"

A tall, handsome man with beige hair and violet eyes poked around from a nearby bookshelf. "Excuse me," he said gently, speaking with a thick Russian accent. "Can you keep it down, please?"

Al's jaw slowly dropped as Matt went slightly red in the face. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be quieter."

He smiled warmly. "Thank you." He then went back behind the shelf.

Matthew turned to his brother, whose jaw was hanging open like a snake unhinging its mouth to swallow its prey whole. He scowled. "What is it now?" he hissed lowly.

"_Daaamn_," Alfred exclaimed in awe. "He _pretty_."

Matt facepalmed. "Alfred... we're working on schoolwork, remember? This might only be a small assignment, but it's due next week and-" he realized he was talking to an empty seat. "ALFRED!"

Poking around the corner of a bookshelf curiously, Alfred examined the man. He was pushing around a cart full of books, putting the books onto random shelves for some reason or another. Alfred cleared his throat and suavely swagged his way over to the Russian.

"Yo. How's it going?" he greeted him with the flirtiest playboy tone he could muster. The man didn't even glance at him and continued working. "So... I'm Al. I heard this building's on campus. You must be a student?"

The man continued at his work. "No. I'm a librarian."

Al frowned. "A librarian, huh? So like... what's that mean? Is it halfway between liberal and republican?"  
>The man replied casually, "It means I work at a library."<p>

Alfred looked puzzled for a moment and furrowed his brows, deep in thought before it hit him. "Oh! Right! Because it's called a library! Cool." He went to the other side of the man, and leaned seductively onto the cart. "Well, mister librarian, today is your lucky day."  
>"Oh? And why is that?" he asked calmly, still not interested enough to make eye contact.<p>

"Because, baby, you caught my attention. How would you like to spend the rest of the evening in the arms of this handsome stud?" Still leaning on the cart, he began flexing his muscles. Without a word or even a glance, the Russian man ignored him and pushed the cart forward, as Al toppled over and landed on his butt.

The Russian man sighed as Alfred's head popped out from around the corner as he continued to work. "Heh, playing hard to get, huh? You're really good at that. Totally sexy. Just like me! See, that's why we'd be so great together. It would be, like, a colossal mass of sexiness. People would have to avert their eyes because they would implode with the sheer-"

The Russian man clamped his large hand over Alfred's large mouth, and turned to him, his beautiful violet eyes only inches away. "I am trying to work," he stated calmly. He then turned around and strode away, leaving Alfred stunned. After a few moments, he shakily and quickly composed himself and ran after him.

"So, ah... you take your job pretty seriously, huh? Cool, cool. I can respect that," he continued to babble, following the Russian as he towed his cart around. "So, must be a boring job, huh? Just surrounded by books all day, and all. Well, I mean, unless you're into that kind of thing. You don't really seem that nerdy, though. But hey, you never know. Don't judge a book by its cover, right? And I mean, why would somebody bother with a job like this if they hated it? Well, though, then again, lots of people don't like their jobs. I remember once my father-URK!" he exclaimed as his brother yanked him back by the collar. "MATT! What the heck! Can't you see I'm flirting it up with a hot piece of Russian mancandy? Dude, bros help bros. You should be my wingman. That is so not cool. GAK!" he yelped again as Matthew dragged him away forcefully. "Hey!"

"We have a project to work on," Matthew snapped, "And you're too distracted here. We're going to study elsewhere."

"But, but..."

"No buts! Harass innocent men on your own time!"  
>Alfred puffed up his cheeks. "I was not harassing him! I was flirting! That's totally different."<p>

"Not when they're not interested."

"He was totally interested!"  
>"Yeah, I could tell by the way he was ignoring you."<p>

"Psh! He was just playing hard to get! He was totally into me!"

"Whatever. Come on, let's go."

"No!" Al exclaimed as Matthew tried to pull him out the front doors, latching onto the entrance gate and wrapping all four limbs around it like a child who didn't want to leave a toy store.

"Alfred, you can come back to the library any time!" Matt shouted, pulling Alfred roughly, but was no match for his brother's insane strength.

"But I don't know his work schedule! And thanks to you, I didn't even get to find out his name!" Al whined.

"_It's Ivan!_" Matthew spat.

"How would you know!?" Alfred snapped.  
>"Because that's what it said on his nametag, genius!" Matthew roared, still tugging.<p>

"Oh."

Alfred, completely calm, let go and the both of them toppled over onto the ground. Matt quickly and angrily pulled himself up and yanked up his brother, and dragged him away as Alfred laughed.

xoxoxoxoxo

Thanks for joining me for chapter one! The plan is for this to be a decently long fic. And don't worry, unfinished fanfictions are a pet peeve of mine, so I promise I won't ever ditch a fic without ending it. I sometimes write quite a lot while working on fics so I may update quite frequently. Reviews are much appreciated! Please tell me how you like it.


	2. Dream No More, Baby

Alfred crept carefully through the aisles of bookshelves. "Man, this place is huge! There must be thousands of books! I didn't know this many books existed..."

It took him a few hours to get through the first four floors, and multiple times got himself lost. He arrived at the fifth and final floor, starting to lose hope. "Man... maybe he's not here today?" he wondered, turning the corner just in time to lightly collide with his Russian beauty. "Ah... sorry," Ivan apologized with a warm smile, before walking around Alfred and away.

"Hey! Wait a minute!" Alfred insisted, following. "Ivan, right? Don't you remember me from yesterday? The hot guy?"

"Oh, I remember you, I assure."

Alfred beamed. "Oh! Great!" Ivan arrived at his usual cart, and continued his work, ignoring Alfred.

"So, I figured I'd hang out here. Don't have class today, and I figured, hey, you must be pretty bored here all day by yourself, right? Bet you could use some epic company. I do have practice later, though. That's football. I'm like, totally an athlete. Scholarship and everything. Pretty impressive, huh? You look like you work out, too. You're pretty well-built, huh? D'you play sports?"

"No," he replied cooly. He turned to Alfred and smiled with a subtle dark gleam in his eyes, and a shiver ran down Al's spine. "But I could probably break a man's bare neck with my hands." He chuckled to himself as he continued wheeling the cart away, putting books in their place.

Al was stunned for a moment. "Oh my god," he thought. "I must have him."

Ivan, wide-eyed, blinked in disbelief as Alfred popped up again, grinning. "Soooo. You like movies? You like dinner? You like making out? You like this?" He spun around like a model showcasing himself. "Yeah. Well, today's your lucky day, babe."

"...Huh. Weird," Ivan frowned. "Usually talking about mangling necks scares most people off."

Alfred threw his head back and laughed. "Nope! Can't get rid of me that easily! Honestly, I dunno how to describe it, but... quite the opposite, actually? Dangerous guys are kinda hot, y'know? Everyone loves a bad boy!" He playfully punched Ivan in the arm.

"You are a strange one, Al," Ivan replied with a concerned look on his face, shaking his head.

Alfred grinned like a dork. "You know my name!?"

Ivan gave him a condescending, sarcastic look. "Well, yes, you did mention that yesterday."

"Man! You were actually listening to me?" Alfred beamed. "Y'know, Matt says I talk too much. So do my friends. But you know what? It's their problem. You can really tell a lot about someone by how good of a listener they are. Like, you know you can trust the one who listen to ya, you know? Well... either that, or they want something from you. But man, I don't think you're like that. Man, are you always this quiet? Maybe that's why you're such a good listener, y'know? Or are you just shy? I mean, I could understand being intimidated by my raw sex appeal and awesomeness, but I'm actually pretty down-to-earth so try not to be crushed by intimidation or anything. Besides, you're pretty sexy yourself, y'know? Plus, personally, I find being a good listener a very sexy quality. It's like... the more quiet you are, makes you seem all, y'know, mysterious. Like I dunno what you're thinking. Like, what's on your mind right now?"  
>Silence, as Ivan continued working.<p>

"Aha... lemme guess! You're thinking about me, right? Well, not that weird since we're talking. But, I bet you were totally daydreaming about the glory that exists under these barriers of clothing, right? Well, dream no more, baby. I'll make that dream a reality."

Silence.

"So... dinner? A movie? Or are you the type who likes to just get down to business?"

Silence.

"...Man? Are you like, deaf or something?"

Ivan didn't reply, so he smacked his arm. "Heeeey! Ivan! What's with the cold shoulder, babe?"

"...Sorry," he replied dryly. "I wasn't listening."

Al looked a little hurt.

"...Oh." he replied quietly. He quickly picked himself back up, almost like a mood swing, threw his head back and laughed it off. "Yeah, well, guess it's kinda hard to listen to me yammer on while you're working, huh? So like... maybe we should go out after you get off work, then?"

Silence.

He smacked Ivan's arm with each syllable. "LET'S. GO. ON. A. DATE!" he shouted in his ear, as Ivan flinched.

Alfred was suddenly smacked up against the wall, Ivan's face inches from his, his eyes like cold, fierce daggers. "Al, let me make this very, very clear for you. You. Are. Annoying. Do not speak to me again." And with that, Ivan stormed off, surrounded by an evil aura, leaving an Alfred looking like he was about to cry.

"Ugh... ah... ha... haaa... hahaha... haha! HAHAHA!" His near-crying turned into nervous laughing, and then to a bold laugh. "Whatever! I can do better than you, anyways! Geez! What a nerd! Thinking you're better than me! Hmph! I got like, half of this entire school wanting a piece of this action, so HA!" And with that, he marched out of the library victoriously.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"BAWWWW! MAAAATT!" Al sobbed dramatically into his brother's shoulder, as Matthew sighed and patted Al on the back.

"H-HE CALLED ME ANNOYINGG!"

"Yes, yes, I know," Matt cooed, patting him on the head.

"A-AND SAID NEVER TO SPEAK TO HIM AGAIN!"

"Yes, yes, he's a jerk and you're too good for him."

Alfred jerked up, angrily. "I know, right!?" Then his face slowly scrunched up in despair as he buried his face in his brother's coat again, crying loudly.

Matt's roommate and Alfred's friend/teammate Gilbert came out of the bathroom. "Man, is the waterworks like this every time he gets dumped?" he laughed in disbelief. Matthew nodded his head, sighing.

"H-how do you dump ME? I mean, look at me!" he blubbered. "Who wouldn't want all of this sexy?" he sniffled, wiping his drippy nose on his brother's jacket as Matt scowled.

"I dunno, man," Gilbert shrugged. "Everybody has a type, I guess."

"S-so... have you ever been dumped, Gil?"

Gil looked cornered for only a moment, then laughed nervously. "Ahahaha! O-of course not! Naw, I'm way, way too awesome to ever get turned down! Haha..."

Matt raised a sarcastic eyebrow at his roommate as if to say, "seriously?" as Gil averted his eyes, nervously coughing.

"Oh, well," said Matt. "You'll find someone better."

Alfred popped up. "That's just the thing, Mattie! I'll never find one better! Have you seen him? He's perfect! That face, those eyes, that hair... ugh, that body...!"

Matthew frowned. "So... basically, it's all about the looks, then."

"Hey! Don't judge me!" Al snapped defensively. "Everyone has priorities and makes compromises on other things!"

"Well," Matt shot back, "Maybe if you had focused on something other than his looks, he would've given you a chance?"

"But... but..." Alfred stammered. "He's hot! I'm hot! It's like we were made for each other!"

His brother sighed, exhausted. "Al, I'm going to give you some tough love. You are shallow. You are selfish and egotistical. I bet you spent the entire time ranting on about YOURSELF. Like you always do. Instead of being interested in what he has to say, and asking him questions about himself, and trying to learn about him, as though you actually give a damn. Which is WHY you always get turned down."  
>Alfred raised his hand in protest and opened his mouth, but could think of no reply.<p>

"Well... what do you expect me to do then?"  
>Matthew scoffed. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe actually take an interest in him? Find out your shared interests, so you have some common ground, and use that to build your relationship? A.k.a., what normal people do?"<p>

Alfred paused. "...That's just so crazy, it just might work." Gilbert snickered.

"It's not crazy! It's normal!" Matt roared. "Were you dropped on your head? Do you understand how social interaction works? And you call ME the dork? God, how are we related?"  
>Alfred just laughed, as he always did, which as always made Matt angrier.<p>

"Argh!" he exclaimed, pulling on his hair, as he exited the room, and could be heard quietly and shakily counting to ten as he went down the hallway.

Gil plopped down next to Al. "So, bro. You gonna give up on him?"

Alfred grinned. "No way in hell! I'm gonna woo him so hard it'll be like a tornado of sexiness punched right through his face!"

Gilbert punched him in the arm playfully, smirking. "That's the spirit! Go get 'im, tiger!"

"Damn straight!" Alfred screamed enthusiastically, nearly giving Gil a heart attack, hopping up from Matt's bed. "I'm like a motherfucking tiger about to pounce! BETTER RUN, IVAN, 'CUZ YOU ABOUT TO BE DINNER!"

"Dude... dude, calm down..." Gil muttered in disbelief as Alfred selected "Eye of the Tiger" on Gil's boombox and began intensely crumping in the middle of the room with a fiercely determined expression.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Hey, thanks for joining in for chapter two! Like I said, I expect to update fairly often. I was very delighted to receive your reviews! Thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as well! Haha, I am really enjoying writing Alfred like he's ADHD, I've had it my whole life so I can totally relate to the experience! And, like the Hetalia character, he's not actually stupid, keep in mind... he's just careless/ignorant. He can actually be smart when he puts his mind to it, which we'll probably see later! Reviews are loved, as always, whether you liked it or not! Join us next chapter where Al tries to take his brother's advice.


	3. Can't Keep Me Away

Ivan was putting away books from his cart, enjoying the quiet bliss his job provided him, until a familiar voice called out, "Yo! Sugar lips!" He turned around to greet a grinnning Alfred. "How's it goin'?"

Ivan blinked in disbelief. "...You actually came back?"

"Yup!" Alfred replied proudly. "You just can't keep me away! I keep comin' back, and getting' in your pants! Like herpes!"

Ivan sighed deeply, and buried his face in his hands. "...That is the most unattractive simile I have ever heard."

Alfred shrugged. "Well, I was going for accuracy."

Ivan scoffed. "Well, comparing yourself to a disease is actually pretty accurate..." he muttered. Alfred pretended not to hear him.  
>"So, big guy. I recently learned that a good flirting tip is actually being interested in the other person."<p>

Ivan rolled his eyes. "Really?"  
>"I know, right?! Who would've thought!" Alfred exclaimed, as Ivan buried his face in his hands. "So, anyways. Let's start with you. Tell me all about yourself!"<p>

"I'd really rather not..." Ivan sighed.

"Well, if you don't talk, I'll have to keep up the conversation, all by myself!" Alfred grinned. "And, trust me, I can talk for hours and hours and-"

"Alright," Ivan cut him off sharply, exhausted. "What exactly is it you want to know?"

"Everything you can think of!" Alfred declared. "Tell me your life story! Tell me about your family, and your home! And everything you like, and everything you don't!"

Ivan sighed again. Really? One of the great things about this job was how little interaction he had with others, and how few of them were obnoxious and loud. It was easy for him to be polite to people he didn't like, for the sake of his job, but this guy was getting on his last nerve. However, if he lost his temper and were to get carried away, he could very well get fired. But this guy didn't want to give up. That was it; he had no choice. At least while at work, he had to entertain the brat's whims until he finally gave up. "I have no idea where to start..."

"Well... hmm. When did you move here from Russia?" Alfred questioned.

The Russian man paused thoughtfully. "Hm... must've been... ten years ago, now."

"Wow, really...?" Alfred asked, surprised. "You still have a noticeable accent... how old are you, anyways?"

"I'm twenty-three. My family moved here from Russia when I was thirteen. It's not that unusual that I have an accent, as I only spoke Russian for the first thirteen years of my life, so I'd already developed a certain way of speaking."

"Oh, so you're like, four years older than me? Cool," Alfred replied. "What was Russia like?"

Ivan got a thoughtful look. "Well..."

FOUR HOURS LATER...

"And... uh... my favourite colour is yellow..." Ivan continued nervously, as Al stood there, patiently and silently beaming. "Crap," Ivan thought. "I'm running out of things to talk about..."

"I, erm... hm..." he thought so desperately that he couldn't come up with anything.

"You can outta things to talk about?" Alfred asked excitedly.

"Uh... yeah." Ivan clenched his eyes shut and prepared for the worst.

"Okay. Well, see ya around!" Al replied gleefully, as he picked up his bag. Ivan frowned. "You're leaving?"

"Yup," Alfred nodded. "I got practice today. Later!"

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Alfred sighed sadly, staring off into space as he and Gilbert were making their way back into the dorms.

"Man, what's wrong?" Gil questioned. "You were totally off your game in practice. Something on your mind? How'd it go today?"

Alfred remained silent.

"Ooh... that's not a good sign," Gil thought to himself. He laughed and patted Al on the back. "Aw, don't worry about it, man. You're a great catch. You just gotta find somebody who appreciates you, that's all. Trust me, I know awesome when I see it."  
>Alfred sighed sadly again, not seeming to hear him. They reached Gil's room, and Al suddenly jumped back to life, nearly scaring Gilbert out of his skin. He stormed inside like a locomotive and flying tackled his brother onto his bed.<p>

"OW! Al, what the hell!" Matt yelped.

"You jeeeerk!" Alfred yelled. "You told me to get to know him!"

Matthew frowned. "Yeah? So?"

"We have literally nothing in common!" Alfred shouted in desparation. "He likes... reading, and knitting, and plays, and old people music! What the heck do I do noooow!" His shouts turned into pathetic sobs, as he buried his face in Matt's shirt. His brother looked to the heavens in exhaustion as if to say "Why. What have I done in a past life to deserve this."

Matthew pulled up his brother, looking him in the eyes. "Come on, man! Pull yourself together! Have some dignity!"

"But what do I dooo?" Al blubbered. Matthew sighed. "Well, that's up to you. You could give up on him, and try to find someone who shares your interests."

"But I like himmm!" Alfred whined. Matt scowled. "Well, then learn more about the stuff he likes! Try something new! Who knows, maybe you'll actually like other things if you give them a try."

Alfred sighed, exhausted, and curled up into a ball. Matthew pushed his brother off of him and Al plopped casually onto the floor, spread out his arms and legs and lay there, staring at the ceiling, dreamily sighing.

"Geez... this is so much trouble..." he sighed wearily as Gil plopped down on his bed, drinking from his water bottle.

"Well, then, I guess you have to ask yourself the important question," Gil piped in. "Is he worth it? Or not?"

Alfred's eyes widened and he popped up from the ground with vigor. He turned to Gilbert. "Definitely," he grinned.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Thanks for joining me for chapter three! I actually finished chapter four already too, so that will be uploaded today, as well.

You might've noticed I've been updating quite regularly. I'll likely continue to update on an almost-daily basis, possibly sometimes more than once a day.

I really appreciate every review! Thanks so much, guys!

And, I realize Al seems pretty dimwitted. Hopefully he doesn't annoy anybody yet. But he'll get better, I swear. He's still got quite a bit of character development to go through; plus he's got sides of himself he hasn't really shown us yet.

Anyways, hope you'll stick around!


	4. Super Studly Training Regime

Heroic music boomed from Alfred's room. He sat there, dressed head to toe in workout attire and sweatbands, as he attached a large poster board entitled "Al's Super Studly Training Regime" to his wall.

**AL'S SUPER STUDLY TRAINING REGIME**

_Romeo and Juliet_

_Macbeth_

_Hamlet_

_A Midsummer Night's Dream_

_Twelfth Night_

_Brave New World_

_Sherlock Holmes_

_Paradise Lost_

_Lord of the Flies_

_To Kill a Mockingbird_

_Edgar Allen Poe's popular works_

_Alice in Wonderland_

_Dracula_

_Frankenstein_

_Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_

_Picture of Dorian Gray_

_One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest_

_Moby Dick_

_Adventures of Tom Sawyer_

_Adventures of Huckleberry Finn_

_Of Mice and Men_

_Catcher in the Rye_

_Great Gatsby_

_Pride and Prejudice_  
><em>Beowulf<em>

_Count of Monte Cristo_

_Oliver Twist_

_1984_

_Don Quixote_

_The Hobbit_

_Lord of the Rings_

_Harry Potter_

_Hunger Games_

_Game of Thrones_

_Interview with the Vampire_

_Life of Pi_

_Girl with the Dragon Tattoo_

_Old Man and the Sea_

_2000 Leagues Under the Sea_

_Memoirs of a Geisha_

_The Stand_

_It_

_The Shining_

_The Green Mile_

_The Odyssey_

_Catch-22_

_Lolita_

_Around the World in Eighty Days_

_The Diary of a Young Girl_

_Robinson Crusoe_

_Wonderful Wizard of Oz_

_Peter Pan_

_Alice in Wonderland_

_For Whom the Bell Tolls_

_Phantom of the Opera_

_Hunchback of Notre Dame_

_Brothers Grimm_

_Portrait of a Lady_

_Uncle Tom's Cabin_

_A Clockwork Orange_

_All Quiet on the Western Front_

_Journey to the Center of the Earth_

_The Outsiders_

_A Streetcar Named Desire_

_Anne of Green Gables_

_Black Beauty_

_Arabian Nights_

_The Invisible Man_

_...more to be added._

Though he should've been used to his roommate's crazy antics by now, Toris frowned. "So... I see you've... taken an interest in literature?"

"WHAT?" Alfred yelled over the loud volume of The Final Countdown, nearly shaking the room's walls.

"I SAID, SO YOU'VE TAKEN AN INTEREST IN LITERATURE?"  
>"Oh." Al turned off his music. "Yeah, kinda. I guess."<p>

"That's... quite a list," Toris replied. "You're going to do all of that while in school?" he frowned.

"Yup! When I decide to do something, I put my everything into it!" Al declared proudly.

"...So... when will you have time to study?"

"Pfft. Who needs studying. I never studied in high school, and I did just fine."

Toris frowned, and opened his mouth to speak but decided against it. "Well... let him make his own mistakes, I guess. If he's not serious, then he's not. Maybe if he doesn't do well, it'll motivate him to do better next semester." He cleared his throat. "So, Al. When's your goal to finish them? By the end of the year?"

Al laughed. "No way! I don't have that kind of time. I was thinking like... a week, or something."

Toris gave him a dumbfounded look. "A... week? Erm... have you, ah... looked at these books yet?"

"Naw. But I can get 'em from the library. And lots of them are so old that you can just read them online, or get them on apps for free and stuff."

Toris frowned again. "Alfred... when was the last time you read a book...?"

Alfred paused thoughtfully. "Hm. I don't think I've ever actually finished a book. Like, in school, I kinda tried to skim through it, but... I got totally bored. I finished some comics, though. And I'm a fast reader. Reading is no biggie for someone as epic and smart as me."

"Erm... I think it might take longer than you think, Al. I mean, some of these are really, really long... and some are in old English... and, if you read them too fast, there'd be no point, right? Some of these books are really deep. You gotta really study them to understand, you get it?"  
>Alfred threw his head back and laughed. "Don't worry, Tori! This will be a piece of cake for someone like me! It'll be fine!" He patted Toris on the back, as Toris shook his head, holding it in his hands in worry. "Let him make his own mistakes... let him make his own mistakes..."<p>

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Matthew sighed at his desk. Gil peered over his shoulder. "What'cha sighin' over, Birdy?" Matt blushed lightly at the affectionate nickname Gilbert had given him. "Well, I can't get this piece to work quite right..." He looked over his sketch and sighed. He had been quite excited to be an art major, and he did feel as though he had talent, but... university level art programs were quite difficult. They had very high expectations, and Matthew wanted his work to be as perfect as possible.

"Hm," Gil paused thoughtfully. "It looks fine to me. Then again, I don't know much about art. The arm seems a little off, though..."

Matthew sighed. "I know... Gah, it's so frustrating to know what's wrong but not know exactly how to fix it..." He erased the arm for the fourteenth time. He finally dropped his pencil and sighed, scrunching up the paper and throwing it into the trash as Gilbert gaped. He ran over to the trash can and pulled it out. "Birdy, you can't treat your art that way! Besides, it's only one mistake! You can fix it if you keep trying! And you'll never get better if you don't-"

"That's not it," replied Matt, sighing again. "The thing is, even if the arm looked right, I'm really not happy with that piece."

Gil frowned. "Why not?"

"I don't really know how to explain it. But... it's just not turning out the same way I pictured it in my head. Besides... there's not point in going to all that effort to fix it if I won't be happy with it by the end. I'll just start over."

He pulled out a new piece of paper, and Gil cleared his throat. "Well... would it be easier if you had a model?"

"Huh?"

"I mean... I could model for ya, if you want?" Gilbert blushed slightly, nervously running his fingers thorough his hair. "I thought it might help... plus, well... I really love your art, so... it'd be really cool if you could draw me sometime." Matt blushed at the compliment as Gil began to laugh off his awkwardness. "Plus, I mean, I'd make an awesome model, right?" He flexed his muscles. "Y'know, my bein' so sexy, and all."

Matthew blushed still, but he laughed. "That... sounds like something Al would say..."

Gilbert laughed, too. "Well, what can I say? We're totally awesome."

Matthew rolled his eyes. "Alright. Do you want me to draw you or not?"  
>"Sure!" Gil exclaimed, grinning. He struck a pose.<p>

"Erm... you'll probably want to assume a more casual pose? Probably a comfortable one? You'll have to sit still for awhile."  
>Gilbert laughed. "Yeah, I guess." He pulled a chair over to his desk and leaned onto his elbow casually. "Alrighty, then. Don't move until I'm done."<p>

Matthew began sketching. Staring intently at Gil's masculine figure, he blushed as he drew his muscular arms in detail.

"Damn," he thought to himself. "How in the world did I end up crushing on a guy who's as narcissistic as Al? Geez." Matt smiled to himself, blushing a bit, as he continued to sketch.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Ivan turned and looked at the clock. It was 6 pm. "Odd," he thought to himself. "I guess he isn't coming today."

Not that he would complain, of course, it was just that he had been prepared for it.

It wasn't that he minded company at all. In fact, sometimes the job could be a little slow, and it would be nice to have a friend at work. "But," he thought to himself, "I'd rather be alone than in the company of an idiot." He smiled to himself blissfully as he continued to wheel his cart down the aisle, not at all expecting that the "idiot" he so despised was plotting a large-scale scheme to squirm his way into Ivan's life.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Yo, guys! Two chapters in one day, eh? Well, once I start writing I can get sort of avid, haha. Decided I'd include a little snipet of CanPru. Yeah, sorry if I got carried away with that list, like... it's practically 1/3 of this chapter, haha! But I thought it would be funnier if it was ridiculously long. I haven't actually read all of those books myself, though I've read and studied some of them. I just went with classics, and some newer series which are intelligently written and adored so they will probably end up as classics, that I'd heard of. Actually I've heard of more but I decided the list was already too much, pfft. (Didn't wanna go through and decide what to cut out though... I figured, eh, if people don't care they can skim the list. And it gives those who actually study English, like me, a little bit of a moment to geek out, haha. Yeah. I'm just a bit of a literature nerd. Just a bit, okay? I haven't actually read that many on the list... I mean, I plan to, but yeah. Life. School. Fanfiction. Bleeh.)

Anyways, hope you enjoyed! The story will continue~ Probably this evening or tomorrow. So, stick around!


	5. You're The Best Around

First of all, sorry update took so long! Some urgent stuff came up IRL. I hope to update more regularly now, though, and here's 2 chapters to thank you for waiting! Remember, I previously had a notice in the spot of chapter 5, which I removed. So, make sure you don't skip a chapter! Anyways, enjoy! And please review! (More reviews will encourage me to update more!)

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Matthew was flipping through some old sketches when his cellphone rang. He immediately recognized the ringtone, "America Idiot", which was assigned to his brother. Sighing, he pulled out his phone, pressed the answer button and immediately regretted this decision. "MATT!" Alfred wailed, as Matthew held the phone away from his ear, wincing. He sighed deeply. "What is it, Al?"

Panicked, Alfred stammered, "M-Matt, like, have you ever READ classic literature? Like... it's SO LONG! It takes so much longer to read than I thought! This list is gonna take me WAY longer than a week!" he sobbed pathetically into his brother's ear.

"How far did you even get?"

"I finished one chapter," Alfred sniffled. "It wouldn't be so boring if it wasn't so LONG. Look how many I still have to go! I just looked and some of these books have like, SO many chapters! And they're not all the same length! What's up with that!? Where's the consistency!? How am I supposed to keep track!? They should have rules for this kinda stuff!"

Matthew sighed. He knew his brother well enough to know what would happen next. He would decide he wanted something that was a lot of hard work, begin working towards it, then whine that it was difficult, get bored with it and move on to something else. He always did it.

"So, finally gonna give up?"

Al sighed and went quiet for a moment. "No. No way. I'm gonna OWN those books, just you wait and see," he replied determinedly, hanging up. Matthew was stunned for a moment. "Well, that's more time than he gives most things," he thought to himself. "But he surely won't get through all of it." After all, it was a long leap from taking the easy route your whole life to actually working your hardest for something.

Gilbert came out from the bathroom, having just showered, wearing only a pair of jeans. Matthew glanced at the water droplets dripping down his sculpted chest and gulped. "C-can I sketch you again?" he blurted out.

"Hm?" Gil paused and then laughed. "What, you checkin' me out, Birdy?"

Matthew turned red in the face. "N-no! I was just thinking, you're got a nice physique, so it would be a nice opportunity to draw it... Since you work out and all... I mean, nice from a purely artistic point of view! I just wanna practice my anatomy! It's perfectly innocent...!" He squeaked. Gil laughed again.

"Aw, don't worry, Birdy. I'm just teasin'. You're too cute when you get all flustered."

He plopped down in his chair, while Matthew quietly got so flustered he practically shook.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Toris glanced curiously as Alfred posted up his new training regime, decked out in work-out gear once more, as "You're The Best" blasted from his ipod dock. Toris glanced over it curiously. "So... I see you're trying to be a little more realistic?" he sighed in relief.

"Yup! Gonna read just a few books a day, depending on the length, for about 4 weeks. I won't check everything off the list, but it'll be enough for a start. Then, I'm gonna use my newfound knowledge and woo the pants off that Russian bombshell!" He pumped his fist into the air victoriously. Toris frowned. "Erm, Alfred? These books are... complex. I doubt you'll understand the intricacies of them if you just blast through them as fast as you can. And some are even in old English. Even if you know what happens in them, studying them is a whole different-"

Alfred waved his hand at Toris and went "psh" as though to write off what he was saying. "Man, it's no biggie. I've got a brain, like, the size of my ego. I'll be just fine, Tori." Toris sighed and held his head in his hands, frought with worry for his friend, but held himself back from nagging him.

xoxoxoxoxoxo


	6. Homewrecker

First of all, sorry update took so long! Some urgent stuff came up IRL. I hope to update more regularly now, though, and here's 2 chapters to thank you for waiting! Remember, I previously had a notice in the spot of chapter 5, which I removed. So make sure you don't skip a chapter! Anyways, enjoy! And please review! (More reviews will encourage me to update more!)

xoxoxoxoxoxo

xoxo End Of Week One xoxo

Toris was both surprised, impressed, and shocked at Alfred's commitment to his regime. He spent all of his time reading, and, much to Toris's discomfort, all of his time in rare silence. He was a surprisingly fast reader, even with old English, though Toris was quite worried about whether or not he could understand what he was reading. He didn't want his friend to make a fool of himself... but, Alfred marched to the beat of his own drum. He always did what he wanted, so there was no point in nagging him, and Toris knew that by now, despite only having been roommates for a couple months. He had no idea what was going on in Al's head; ever since he started reading, he was in constant silence. He went to class, but never did he see Alfred doing any homework. At the dorm, all he did was read, for a straight week. He was sitting there reading every night when Toris went to bed, and every morning when Toris woke up. Of course, he must've slept at some point, but his roommate didn't seem to require much sleep anyways to maintain his boundless energy, as he always stayed up ridiculously late and attended class early the next morning. All he did besides reading was class (1-2 classes per weekday), showering, sleeping (occasionally), working out (1 hour a day), football practice, and eating (while reading). He must've been wildly fast, because to Toris's surprise, he was always reading a different book, and steadily crossing them off of his list. He crossed off his list

Sunday – Romeo and Juliet, A Little Princess

Monday – Twelfth Night, Brave New World

Tuesday – Hamlet, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Wednesday – Macbeth, Life of Pi

Thursday – A Midsummer Night's Dream, Sense and Sensibility

Friday – Little House on the Prairie, Pride and Prejudice

Saturday – The Great Gatsby, Lolita

It was startling, the way he would get into a book. Almost like he enjoyed it. There was a light knock on the door. "Al?"

Alfred seemed to not notice. Toris went over and opened the door to reveal a concerned Matthew. "I haven't heard from my brother all week... is he okay?" Toris awkwardly motioned to the man curled up in the corner with his nose in Beowulf. Startled, Matthew slowly crawled up to his brother. "...Al? Al, are you okay?"

Silence.

"He's been like this all week! Barely said a word! I'm worried, Matt... maybe they were too much for him?" Toris flung his hands to his head. "Oh dear god, they broke his brain!"

"Toris, calm down," Matt insisted. He put his hand on his brother's shoulder and shook it gently. "Alfred?" Al put up a finger to indicate he was busy, as his eyes quickly scanned the page at a remarkable speed, and finally he put the book down. His face was deadly serious. "Matt, just the person I wanted to see! I was gonna call you. But, err... I sort of... got... distracted." he replied nervously.

Matt's jaw dropped.

"You LIKE it!"

Al attempted, failing, to look greatly offended. "N-no, I don't!" he stammered.

"Yes, you do!" Matthew grinned victoriously. "You LIKE reading!"  
>"Shut up!"<br>"You're reading classical literature, and you're ENJOYING it."

"Matthew Williams, you watch your mouth!" he spat, red-faced, clutching the book to his chest like he was protecting his human baby.

"Whatever you say," he grinned, while Al pouted like an angry child. "So. You were gonna call me? What do you need now?"  
>"Ahem," Al cleared his throat, eager to change the subject. "I gotta stay in the game, see? Can't win him over without constant effort. But, see, I'm quite busy right now, and I'm not ready to see him yet."<p>

"Oh, Ivan? Why not?" Matthew queried.

"Because," Alfred spat like a spoiled child, "I have not yet completed my transformation to his perfect man! He can't get a sneak peak! That's like, knowing what your presents are before Christmas!"  
>"Al, you always peeked at your presents."<br>"Exactly! And it made Christmas somewhat less exciting."

Well, Matthew couldn't argue with that, and he was too stunned at his brother using sound logic to argue anyways.

"...So?"  
>"So, well... I was hoping you could, y'know... scope things out for me. Check up on him."<p>

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "...You want me to... stalk the guy you're trying to pick up."

Alfred clenched his hands together and looked to his brother with teary eyes, pleading. "Pleeeease?"

"I'm not stalking anybody."

"You don't have to stalk him," Al insisted. "Just... go to the library. Start chatting it up with him, or something. Maybe even get some info for me."

"Why should I do this?" Matthew sighed.

Alfred pouted. "Because I'm your bro and you love me to pieces?"

Matt scowled. "NO."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Matthew sighed in frustration as he walked through the library entrance. "Geez... I can't believe this. I spoil him too much... no wonder he turned out to be such a brat." He quickly spotted Ivan, and began to panic.

"Uh oh... I don't have a plan or anything! What do I do...!?" he stood there like a deer in headlights. Ivan turned and saw the look on his face. "Hello, can I help you with anything? You look a little stressed. Big assignment?"

"Erm... N-no, just... Killing some time. I'm just a bit shy, so, uh... I don't do that great in public places..." he mumbled. It was really all he could think of, and was probably convincing, as he was slightly on the shy side. Ivan smiled. "Here, come with me."

He guided Matthew gently by the arm to the third floor. They weaved through bookcases to a lone back corner, where there was a large window and a small, secluded place with a couple of comfy chairs. "Here. Is this a better place?"

"Huh. He's actually kinda considerate," Matt thought to himself. "Uh... thanks. I really appreciate it," he replied.

"No problem," Ivan replied, smiling kindly, as he turned to walk away. Matt awkwardly and shyly grabbed his arm. "Erm... would you like to... join me?"

Ivan blinked, surprised.

"U-um, I mean... You wanna take a break? Chat for a little bit, maybe? You seem... nice and all...?"

Ivan sighed, seemingly in slight annoyance. "Ah, no thank you... I have work to do." He started down the aisle, and Matthew took off after him. "W-wait! Can I... join you?" he blurted out.

Ivan gave him a funny look while Matthew got flustered. "Wow. This is really awkward..." he thought. "I totally sound like I'm hitting on him..."

"You look... familiar?" Ivan furrowed his brow.

"Well, I come here sometimes..." Matt cleared his throat awkwardly.

Ivan looked as though he had suddenly come to a realization, then sighed. "Your brother put you up to this, correct?"

Matt let out a huge sigh of exasperation. "YES! I'm really sorry about this... he just wanted me to check up on you... hey, wait. Did he mention me?"  
>"No, but you were with him when we first met. I recall the two of you making a large scene in front of the library entrance..." Matthew's face boiled crimson with embarrassment. "Oh, god... s-sorry... about that.."<p>

Ivan sighed gently, then smiled. "It's okay. He sounds like a handful."

"Oh, he is," Matthew huffed. "He's so annoying. He always acts like a child. I feel like a babysitter." Ivan laughed sweetly.

"I thought he had given up, hm? I haven't seen him in awhile. He hasn't been... stalking me or anything, right?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, no. He's determined to do some 'self-improvement' before he tries to hit on you again, after he took a blow to his ego. He's super-serious about it. He's got a training regime, and everything... it's so ridiculous," Matt rolled his eyes.

"I see," Ivan chuckled. "Well, good luck to him. I understand, though. While I do love my younger sister, she is... a handful, as well."

"Oh, really? I mean, I love my brother too, but, yeah. She can't be worse than Alfred though?"  
>Ivan laughed nervously. "She's... a lovely girl, but... she gets far too worked up over things she's passionate about."<br>"Sounds like Alfred. Except, I mean... y'know, the girl part. I mean, this one time, we were-" Ivan gently put a finger to Matt's lips.

"While I would love to chat, I do have a job to do," Ivan stated calmly.

"O-oh... yeah, sorry. I'll leave." Matt replied awkwardly. Ivan smiled. "I get off in half an hour? If you still have 'time to kill'?" he offered, to which Matt smiled.

X

"You went out to dinner with him!?" Al shouted in utter disbelief. "I told you to scope him out, not steal him from me! YOU HOMEWRECKER!" he roared, and Gil held him back as he struggled and wailed his fists about. Matthew rolled his eyes.

"We didn't go on a restaurant date. CHILL. We went out to a casual cafe and TALKED. Like, as friends. He's a pretty down-to-earth guy."

"Oh... really?" Al seemed to calm down, curiousity winning over. "What did you guys talk about?"

"Oh. I just told him funny stories about dumb stuff you've done." Matt shrugged.

"Maaatt!" Al whined. "You weren't supposed to tell him embarrassing stuff! You were just supposed to get me information!"

Matthew shrugged. "Oh, well. At least he knows you a bit better now."

"Hey, I guess that's right!" Al beamed suddenly. "The more he hears about me, the more I'll be on his mind! Like planting the seed of thought! It's PERFECT!" He grinned. "So, now that you guys're friends, you'll put in a good word for me?"

Matt rolled his eyes. "Ivan's personal choices are not for me to decide," he replied, as his phone beeped. He pulled it out and chuckled to himself before starting to put it away. Al frowned suspiciously. "...Who was that?"  
>"Nobody." Matt replied flatly.<p>

"What do you mean, nobody? Someone obviously just texted you!" he spat. He gasped slowly. "You have his number! You have his number, don't you!?" He lept up.

"I-it's none of your business!" Matthew spat back. Al dove at him. "Gimmeeee!" Alfred wailed, grabbing at the phone as Matt held it as far away as possible in his hand, while Gil tried to pull Al off of his brother. "No way, man! Ivan would be so mad!"

"You're on a FIRST NAME BASIS with my sweet honey!?" Alfred's jaw dropped. "Giiilll! My sweet sweet Matryoshka doll loves Mattie more than meee!" he wailed, throwing himself into Gil's arms, as Gil patted his head comfortingly. Matt huffed in annoyance.

"Wow. I wonder why he's not interested," he replied sarcastically.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Okay, guys! Hope you liked it! I have the story planned out pretty far, and a basic idea of what will happen even farther so. I have lots of stuff going on IRL right now, but I should still update fairly often. Point is, even if I don't, I promise I won't leave the story unfinished so don't give up on me! See you next time!


	7. Here Comes The Bromobile

xoxo End of Week Two xoxo

"How's this pose, Birdy?" Gil grinned, flexing as he stretched out seductively on his bed. Matt got slightly flustered. "Well, fine, if you can hold it for an hour."

Gilbert nodded very seriously. "Anything for my sexyness to be shared. The world deserves it. My biceps are humanity's saviors." They both broke out laughing. "Alright, if you really think so. Gotta admire that optimism."

"Aw, c'mon Birdy, y'know you love me," Gil winked. "Bet that's why you get me to model for you every day."

Matt turned bashfully crimson. "N-no it isn't!"

"Aw, really? Too bad. You'd make a cute wife, Birdy! Kesesese!" Matthew's face flared scarlet, and his eyes nearly popped out of his face. "WIFE? Wh-where did that come from!?"  
>"Well, you're innocent and shy, and easily flustered, and super-cute... also, a great cook. You'd make an awesome bride, don't you think?"<br>Matthew buried his face into his sketchpad. "You're so weird!" he groaned, his voice muffled.

"Okay, then, how about I be your wife? I mean, we're already living together, and I do most of the cleaning anyways." Matthew laughed, his face even redder. "Gil, no offense, but you don't exactly have... feminine charms."

Gilbert gasped. "I am insulted, Birdy! I have charms of all sorts!" he nudged Matt in the ribs, winking, as he added, "Not to mention, I look sexy in aaanything. Maid costume, nurse, bride, you name it. I can pull anything off." Matt accidentally snorted loudly and slapped his hand over his face a little too hard. "...Ow. Oops." Gil's phone buzzed loudly, and Gilbert flipped open the phone.

"GILBERT! IT'S AN EMERGENCY! I'M INVOKING THE BRO CODE, MAN!" Al shouted over his music, as Gilbert held the phone away from his ear and winced. "OKAY, MAN! YOU CAN COUNT ON ME!" he screeched back as Al also held his phone away and winced. He hung up, grinning. "Sorry, Birdy, gotta fly." he ruffled Matthew's hair and ran out of the dorm room. Matt sighed. "Al, you suck."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Alfred was still reading at a steady pace. Toris was surprised, both at the way he raced through the books and his growing excitement while reading them. This week he read

Sunday – Beowulf

Monday – The Odyssey, The Canterbury Tales

Tuesday – Uncle Tom's Cabin, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Wednesday – Crime and Punishment

Thursday to Friday – Don Quixote

Friday to Saturday – Gone With the Wind

Today, he had began the Sherlock Holmes series, and he was glued to the book. After awhile, he gasped as though he had remembered something and made a rather loud phone call to Gilbert for some reason. Before he could get distracted again, Toris cleared his throat. "Ah, Alfred."

"Yeah? What is it, Tori?"

"So... I haven't seen you doing any homework? How... are you doing in your classes?"  
>Al laughed. "Aw, don't worry about that. It's fine."<p>

How was it fine? "Alfred, university is very different from high school. It requires a lot more effort... and there are assignments, tests... don't you have any of those to do?"  
>He laughed. "Tests are no big deal. As long as I pay attention in class, I'll be fine. I'm a fast reader, so I can just skim the textbook. And assignments take me like... literally, no time flat. I'm a fast typer. So relax, man!" He patted Toris on the back, but his roommate just furrowed his brow. "I'm starting to see a pattern in your behaviour... Al... I'm quite worried for you..."<p>

Toris lept a foot in the air as Gilbert burst in the door loudly screaming "HERE COMES THE BROMOBILE! CHOO CHOOOO!" as he ran towards Alfred in a childish, plane-flying-motion.

"THAT'S A TRAIN NOISE, YOU FOOL!" Alfred shouted offendedly. "AND WHY THE HELL DOES THE BROMOBILE FLY?"

"WELL, THE BATMOBILE FLIES!" Gilbert shouted back defensively, as Toris put in his usual earplugs, sighing and stroking his brow.

Alfred stroked his chin and raised his eyebrow. "Tu che, my worthy rival." They both grinned and embraced firmly before jumping up and bumping chests and initiating a secret handshake that began with a bro-fist, had some sort of irish stepdance in the middle along with a sassy finger snap, and ended with ferocious back-to-back shimmying. Toris recalled the first time he had seen this handshake, and how he had called for an ambulance because he thought they were having seizures near the end. For two popular athletes, they weren't very good dancers, and for the most part their "sweet moves" consisted of flailing about, consistent with a person drowning, but above water.

"Man, we are so damn awesome!" Gil shouted with gusto, wiping the sweat off his brow.

"Hells yeah!" Alfred screamed, high-fiving Gil. He then gasped. "Oh, yeah, bro! I almost forgot why I called you here!"  
>"Sorry," Gil replied dramatically, flinging his hand over his forehead like a distressed maiden. "I distracted you with my awesomeness again."<p>

Al snorted and grinned. "Yeah, sure. I'll get over it. Anyways. Dude, can you go skype out Ivan for me today? Apparently my brother's a homewrecker, so... yeah. You're my best bet." He clasped his hands around Gil's. "I'm counting on you, bro! Don't let me down!"

Toris sighed to himself, wondering why these guys didn't realize they were actually total dorks, as he attempted to do his homework over the loud sound of Alfred's music. How Al could read at the speed of light with this noise blaring he'd never know.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Sorry it's a short update this time! I was planning on writing a longer chapter but I'm not feeling well. So I decided to split it up into two chapters, and publish what I've got so far. Hope you enjoy! ...I'm more tired than usual today pfft so I'm sorry if my humor is weirder than usual. But as Alfred would say, "YOLO!" Hahaha!


	8. Operation Wingman

Here's chapter eight! It was supposed to be part of chapter seven, but it ended up only getting half done for awhile so I published what I had done. Worked out anyways because this chapter ended up really long! What can I say, I had a different plan for it but thought of better stuff on-the-spot and ended up going with that, hahaha. Hope you enjoy!

NOTE: Some people might have noticed, but I changed the rating from M to T, along with part of the description. Since I want this to be a longer fic, and it's more plot-heavy, I don't think I will include hardcore yaoi, just BL. However, don't be disappointed, as once I complete this fic, I will publish a short sequel which WILL be M-rated and have yaoi content. I didn't intend to include yaoi until quite late anyways, and this way a larger variety of readers can enjoy the story, and the addition of a short yaoi sequel will make both romantic, hardcore yaoi fans as well as BL comedy fans happy. So, you can choose to enjoy this series with the yaoi or without. Hope people like this idea. Anyways, on with the story!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

xoxo End of Week Two (Part Two) xoxo

Gilbert was on a mission.

He was hiding behind a telephone pole, in an army uniform. He dove and rolled behind a nearby trashcan. He then crawled to hide behind a nearby building, as though he was crawling under barbed wire, as confused students stepped over him.

He pulled himself up, his face decorated with war paint. He pulled out his walkie talkie. "Al, the library is in my sights," he reported in all seriousness.

"Go get 'im, buddy!" Alfred shouted, his voice muffled over the sounds of "Triumph" by Pitbull blasting in his dorm room. Gil nodded to himself and continued to parkour his way to the library as fellow students gave him idiotic looks.

"Erm... isn't this a bit much?" Toris questioned loudly over the music.  
>"How do you mean?"Al shouted, confused.<p>

"Well... I mean, I know intensity is just... normal for you guys, but... shouldn't this sort of thing be subtle?"

"That's why he's going undercover!" Al shouted. "It's a covert OPs mission!"

"It's not very covert if you attract that much attention!" Toris replied at the top of his cracking voice, strained from always yelling. "Besides, I get that you really like him, but... you're taking what would be a casual situation a bit... seriously, aren't you?"  
>Alfred gave him a serious look. "Toris." He turned down his music to low, stunning him. "I asked this favour of Gilbert, as his friend. It's normal to take it seriously, isn't it? He's doing this in the name of our friendship... and it just goes to show how much he cares, that he takes it so seriously. I would do the same thing for any of my close friends. That includes you, too."<p>

Toris was startled by the seriousness, and blushed slightly, not used to Alfred being so direct. But then he smiled warmly. "You've got a point, Alfred. And thank you. I really appreciate that."

"Besides... dude, haven't you always wanted to go on a covert OPs mission!? I mean, it's totally cool, right!? Like, right out of an action movie! And we get to practice our sweet parkour!" He exclaimed, punching the air, as Toris sighed. "So, basically you're bullshitting it up to cover the fact that you and Gil want to play spy?"

Alfred laughed loudly. "Pretty much, dude! You catch on quick!" And he turned up the music again as he went back to his reading, walkie-talkie at the ready.

Toris sighed to himself over his crazy roommate as he drank water to soothe his throat. I mean, seriously? Taking the bus halfway across town to buy ridiculously expensive, top-grade walkie-talkies that will work from anywhere on campus? STEALING (or, as Al and Gil called it, "borrowing") the military uniform from the history department's display? His roommate was a good guy, but he could really be an idiot sometimes. Toris just prayed that his involvement with Alfred would not one day get him expelled or arrested.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Eduard von Bock sat quietly and piecefully by a library window as he flipped through the pages of one of his favourite books. He heard an odd creak and turned, frowning, towards the nearby window. He paused for a moment. "Hm. Must be a bird or something." As he finished the next page, getting into it, he jumped as he heard a loud "THUD" and turned to see that a guy in a military uniform and war paint had toppled out of the nearby window. He tried to stammer out a few words, his mouth moving up and down but only expressing baffled silence. The man didn't seem to notice him (or just not care, as he was fixated on something else), and tucked into a roll, disappearing behind a nearby bookshelf.

Eduard was less startled by the man's attire, attitude, and the fact that he entered by window, and more by the fact that the window was on the second floor.

Gilbert picked leaves from the outside tree out of his hair. He pulled out his walkie-talkie. "I have infiltrated the enemy headquarters," he reported in a hushed voice. "Seeking out target."

"Good job, soldier!" Alfred shouted back, alerting everyone nearby to the walkie-talkie and the odd-looking and strange-mannered man operating it. Gil merely ignored the students staring at him and crept to the next aisle, as though he was actually not noticed.

He poked his head around the next corner carefully, as though he may have to dodge enemy attacks. He spotted a fair-haired, large man putting books back into the shelves, next to his trademark librarian's cart.

"I have spotted the target," Gil whispered loudly into the walkie-talkie.  
>"Engage!" Alfred shouted over his music. Ivan turned in Gilbert's direction, frowning. "Excuse me? Is someone there?"<p>

Gilbert rolled out from behind the bookcase and pulled himself out, whipping out a gun and pointing it like an action movie cop. "Put your hands up, scumbag!"

Ivan blinked in disbelief for a moment. There was a pause of silence. Gilbert laughed. "Just kiddin'! I-" As he started to put his arm down, Ivan grabbed his hand and twisted it, as Gilbert yelped, then was quickly and violently smashed against the nearby bookshelf with Ivan's elbow on his throat.

"I-I was joking!" Gil squeaked, partially from the elbow on his throat and partially from sheer, unfathomable terror. "I-It's a squirtgun! A squirtgun! I bought it at the dollar store!"

Ivan frowned at him in disbelief and disgust, as he pulled the trigger, squirting out a stream of water. "Are you an imbecile?"

"Well, uh-"  
>"That was rhetorical. Of course you're an imbecile. You do realize you could be expelled-no, arrested, even-for pulling a prank like this?"<p>

"Um..." Gilbert stammered. "S-sorry?"  
>"Sorry? That's all you can say?"<br>"Err... well, what else do you want me to do? Write an apology note to all of humanity for being an imbecile?"

"It's a start," Ivan sneered, tossing the water pistol behind his back.

"Erm... I'd have a comeback for that, but... dude... you're intensely hardcore. Like, who attacks a person with a gun?"  
>"This is my place of work. I cannot allow my place of work, coworkers or customers to be endangered. Well, plus I didn't want to get shot. But that's beside the point."<br>"Wow. Erm... gotta respect that, man. You're pretty hardcore. I can see why Mattie and Al like you so much, you're a total ass-kicker."

Ivan's frown disappeared slowly and was replaced with a slight smile. "Ah... you are a friend of Mattvey's?" He paused, looking him over. He smiled wider, almost mischievously. "Oh, you're Gilbert, yes?"

Gilbert frowned. "Yeah, how'd you know that?"  
>"Mattvey has told me so much about you."<p>

Gil blinked, finding himself both slightly surprised and quite pleased. "Oh... really?" He paused. "I mean... good things, right?"  
>Ivan smiled warmly. "Yes. Very good." Gil smiled, visably pleased. "Ah... well, duh... we are friends, after all." He grinned. "Plus, y'know, I'm awesome, so... pretty hard to think of anything bad to say about me anyways."<p>

Ivan raised an eyebrow. "That sounded like something Alfred would say..."

"I know, right? He's my brother from another mother. And my best friend. So, yeah. Awesomeness attracts, I guess," he grinned.

"So... I suppose Alfred sent you in his place, like Mattvey?" Ivan sighed. Gil straightened himself up, suddenly very serious as he remembered his mission.

"Dude. I know, like... you don't think much of Al. But, he's actually a really great guy. I don't know what exactly it is you don't like about him, but whatever it could be, he's got so many great qualities to offset that. Like, he's loyal and honest. Wears his heart on his sleeve, y'know? He might seem lazy at first but it's just his priorities are a little odd. When he really wants something, he goes for it one million percent, which is why he's such a gifted athlete. He might get sad or frustrated easily, but he's also easily cheered up and never stays in a bad mood for long. He might seem a little dense at times but it's just because he saves his effort for when it counts, and when he actually puts his brain to work he's actually really, really smart! Like, a genius! He might take it a bit over-the-top sometimes, but he's really fun! And at times when he seems overly lame or childish, don't take it too seriously, as he doesn't either. He's just a really fun-loving guy. When he acts weird, just laugh, and he'll laugh, too. Like, 75% of the stuff he says isn't even serious, especially if it's lame, he's just trying to make you laugh. And he doesn't know a lot of people like you, so he doesn't quite know how to interact with you yet. So he might've said or done some stupid things, but it's just because he's at a loss at how to impress you, honest. And he might seem confident, but he's actually pretty nervous because he's sincerely serious about you! And he-"

"That's quite enough," Ivan cut in sharply but softly, holding up his hand.

"But..."

Ivan smiled. "Mattvey was quite right about you. I knew he was a good judge of character."  
>Gil frowned curiously. "Oh? What... did he say, exactly?"<br>"He said that at first you seemed quite like Alfred, but that you were very loyal, determined and sincere."

Gilbert loved being complimented, of course, but he felt surprised at how he was so much more elated thatMatthew had said such fond things about him. Brushing the momentary surprise off of his face, he grinned. "He's right about you, too, y'know?"  
>Ivan raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"<br>"He said you can seem intimidating or cold at first, but that you're actually quite a people person, and that you're actually very kind."

Ivan blinked in slight surprise. "...Really? Mattvey said that?" he responded quietly, sounding a bit touched, as though people didn't usually see that side of him.

"Yeah," Gil smiled, patting him on the back. "Aww!" he thought to himself. "He's actually such a softie!"

"So," Gilbert added, "You really like me and Mattie, right? They say that birds of a feather flock together. You should really give Alfred a chance. Besides... I think you're a good example of how there's more to people than what you see on the surface, right?"

Ivan looked surprised again for a moment, then sighed. "Well, I suppose you may be right. I don't really know Alfred well enough to judge him as a person. And he may not be a bad person, I don't know. However... he seems to have no... tact, and he can't sense the mood and... I'm not very good at expressing myself. I am really not good at dealing with that kind of person. And he seems like a lot to handle. Too much, for me."

Gilbert frowned, then grinned nervously. "But... you can't really know until you've given him a chance, right?"  
>Ivan sighed again. "I will... consider it. Erm... not... dating, I mean. But I will consider getting to know him a bit better. Just a bit."<p>

Gil grinned broadly. "Well, it's a start!" He picked up a couple books off the cart. "So, how about I help you out with these, and then when your shift's over, we'll go out for a drink?"

Ivan raised an eyebrow. "Why would I do that?"  
>"Because, Mattie got to have coffee with ya! I demand a friendly outing as well, to cement our newfound friendship!"<p>

"...And who said we were friends?" Ivan responded somewhat more coldly than he had meant to, trying to mask his shyness around someone new. He immediately regretted it as usual, but was relieved when Gil threw his head back and laughed, not bothered at all.  
>"I did, of course! You can never have too many!"<p>

Ivan gave a small smile. "...It's a little early for drinking, isn't it? Why not coffee?"  
>Gil grinned, patting him on the back. "Hey, it's five o'clock somewhere! Besides, coffee is for when you're sleepy. I'm pumped! I wanna have some fun! C'mon, let's go party!"<p>

Ivan smiled, a little uncomfortably. "Ah, I don't mind drinking, but... I don't exactly... think I have experience with the sort of 'partying' you refer to..."

Gil smiled. "Aw, don't be nervous, man! It'll just be you and me. I won't judge. You can be as wild or as chill as you want. Just let it go! No need to worry about it."

Ivan smiled, still looking just a bit nervous. He really wasn't used to this sort of thing, but... he really did want to give it a try. He summoned his courage. "...O-okay."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"You partied with him!? Awesome!" Al high-fived his best friend. As soon as Gilbert had returned, he messaged Alfred, who was at Gil and Matt's room within moments, bursting in without so much as a knock. Matthew rolled his eyes. "How come Gilbert makes friends with him and it's 'awesome', but I do it and I'm a homewrecker?"

Alfred pretended not to hear him. "So, what'd he say? Did you talk me up?"  
>"Well," Gil admitted, "He's not really good with people, and you kinda made a bad impression. So it's not like he's gonna adore you right away, no matter what I say. But I talked you up a lot, and it seems like his opinion of you's really improving. I'm sure he's going to come around, just might take a little while."<p>

"Awesome, man! I knew I count on you!" Al exclaimed. Matthew sighed in annoyance. "What, so I don't get any credit for trying?"

Alfred turned his nose up at his brother. "Gil's my bro. My wingman. He actually tried to get him to like me, which was sort of the POINT of meeting up with him. Meanwhile, you and him are thick as thieves and you won't try to convince him."

Matthew sighed. "Al, I'm sorry. It's not like I don't want you to be happy. He just didn't seem interested, and I was trying to respect his feelings. I don't wanna be pushy. Friends are supposed to be supportive."

"So are brothers."  
>Matthew opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it and sighed. "Look, it's not like I just talk bad about you to him all the time. I say nice things sometimes, too. But I don't wanna nag him or anything. If he says no, I leave it at that. I'm not really comfortable being pushy after someone says no."<p>

"Gil managed to get him partway there, though."

Matthew sighed. "I'm just not good at this sort of thing, okay!? Sorry for being a crappy brother," he muttered, burying his face into his homework on his desk.

Al frowned, a little guiltily. "Dude, you're not a bad brother at all. You're always going out of your way to do nice things for me, even if I annoy the crap outta you sometimes. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, 'kay?"

Matthew looked up at his brother and smiled slightly, happy to share a rare moment of sincerity with his brother. "Okay. And I won't nag him, because I don't think it's fair, but... I'll definitely make sure he knows you're a good guy. And if he chooses where to go from there on his own, I'll respect his choice, but... if he asks my opinion... I will definitely tell him that you'd make an awesome boyfriend."

"Of course I would!" Alfred grinned. "Just look at these abs!" He pulled up his shirt, as Matthew sighed and facepalmed. "Moment ruined."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Hope y'all liked it! Really enjoyed writing this one, I totally got into it. Please review! It motivates me to write more chapters. Also, critique of both positive and negative aspects of my fic, character portrayal, writing technique, etc is much appreciated, as I hope to go into the field of literature in the future! So I would really appreciate that! If you can, tell me what you liked or didn't like! Also, suggestions are totally welcome. They may not be used, especially as I have a lot of this fic planned out already but if an idea is both good and fits in with what I have planned for the story, I might use one! (And give credit to whose idea it was, of course.) Suggestions actually might quite help because I plan for this story to be long so the more ideas the better! Also, I plan on updating my profile briefly after I upload this chapter, so please check it out! I will post fic ideas and also, I'm planning to do short Hetalia fanfic requests! So if there's certain pairings or AUs or headcanons or plots you would like to see me write about, please visit my profile for more info! (And once again, credit will be given to whoever came up with the ideas!)


	9. Update Soon

Hello everyone! This is an update to inform you of stuff, mainly though that I have not in any way given up on this fic.

I went through a really difficult, severe depression and had my life in danger a couple times. I had been battling depression for quite awhile but it just kept getting worse and worse. But I'm doing a lot better now and I've really turned my life around.

Then, I was away visiting relatives for almost a month, with no internet.

Finally, two things have been taking up time since then: a) I got a new job, which would be fine except for b) all my friends and family are coming to visit and c) i'm handmaking a ton of gifts for a ton of people and it's taking up pretty much ALL of my free time, and I'm struggling to get them done on time.

For these reasons I cannot promise the update will be very soon, but the latest it should be is a bit after Christmas. I will update sooner if I can. This is just a placeholder, I will replace this message with a new chapter next update. I plan to update at least two chapters at once, but also I was thinking of going back and making a few tweaks to older chapters, because I have a bunch of ideas. Anyways, I still very much love Hetalia and writing and this story is a ton of fun to write. So as soon as I have time, I will, and hopefully it will be soon. But just to be safe I'll let you know it MIGHT not be for a couple weeks yet still.

Since I've been so busy I haven't had time to reply to reviews! I'm very sorry. But I want you all to know that I really, really appreciate your support! And after the holidays I should be back to updating fairly regularly, at least a couple times a week (as I'm taking this year off school and my job is only part-time).

If given the time I may even go back and revise all the chapters, as I never proofread and I really should to see if there's anything I can improve upon. Also, now that I've planned further ahead I can go back and foreshadow. If I go back and tweak the previous chapters though I will be sure to tell you all!

Anyways, thanks so much for your support guys. I'll try to update ASAP. It could be anytime from 2 days to 2 weeks but no longer than that. See you soon!


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